


A Shoulder to Cry on

by Thenerdintheattic



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, Friendship, POV Bertolt Hoover, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Reibert Week 2018, baby reibert, because they're children fgs, socially awkward bertholdt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 17:26:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15490923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thenerdintheattic/pseuds/Thenerdintheattic
Summary: Reiner is upset, Bertholdt offers a shoulder to cry on. Set before they receive their titans.Sixth Day of ReiBert Week 2018 - Comfort





	A Shoulder to Cry on

Bertholdt is worried. Today's training has been particularly hard – the Marleyan officers have made the aspiring warriors run longer, fight harder and shoot further and they are all literally exhausted. It's late, later than usual, when the day comes to an end and they're allowed to go back to the internment camp. Marcel and Porco are already gone, Annie is about to follow them and Bertholdt would really like to do the same, but he knows he can't. Not just yet.

Reiner is nowhere to be seen and Bertholdt is pretty sure he hasn't gone home yet. Today's been hard for all of them but especially for Reiner. He's ranked last in all the tasks that had been set for them, and Porco had seized the opportunity to tease him even more. Bertholdt had seen Reiner swallow back his tears and keep running when he was obviously about to collapse.

Sometimes, Bertholdt wants to tell those boys off. He wants to stand up for Reiner because he doesn't understand why they keep picking on him. Sure, Reiner may not be the best at climbing or the agilest but he has this strength in him that Bertholdt has noticed since the first day. Reiner has a purpose, something to push him forward and his determination is to be admired. Not laughed at. He never says anything, though, no matter how much he wants to. Bertholdt is not this kind of guy. He doesn't stand up because he doesn't know what to say to them. He doesn't have any witty or salty comments to make and he doesn't want the others to hate him too. But he's there afterward, to help Reiner up, to listen to him vent about those morons and he hopes it's enough to make Reiner his friend.

He heads for the changing room. No one has bothered changing before going home, they're all too tired and Bertholdt has a feeling that Reiner went there to hide. He pushes the door open. It's dark inside and at first, he thinks he's been wrong. There's no one here. But as he's about to walk back, he hears a muffled sound and listens up. It's faint but it's definitely someone crying. At first, he doesn't know what to do. He thinks of leaving, as quietly as possible, but he can't bring himself to it. If the roles were reserved, Reiner wouldn't leave him.

“Reiner?”

The cries stop at once and he hears someone move frantically in the dark.

“It's me.” He feels like he needs to reassure him before searching for the light switch. When he finally finds it, he sees Reiner sat down on the floor looking up at him with red swollen eyes.

“Bertholdt? What are you doing here?”

“I was looking for you.”

Reiner looks at him with big puppy eyes, apparently taken aback that someone might be worried for him.

“Are you ok?” Bertholdt asks.

He knows the answer to this question – people rarely cry because they're ok, not like that anyway - and feels stupid for asking it in the first place. He should have said something else, he should have thought more before opening his mouth. If the roles had been reversed, Reiner would not have sounded so weak, he would have demanded an explanation and that's what he should have done. ' _Oi Reiner, talk to me, what's the problem?'_ That kind of thing would have been acceptable. ' _Are you ok'_ is lame and definitely not something Reiner would have said.

“Yeah. I'm fine.” Reiner says, sniffing.

Bertholdt doesn't know what to answer. Probably Reiner doesn't want to talk about it. Or maybe he's waiting for Bertholdt to insist. He has no idea of how to interact with people and Reiner doesn't make things easy for him. He scratches his nose, pensively.

“But thanks for asking.” Reiner continues, seeing that his friend seems stuck on his last answer. “Thanks for always asking.”

And with that, Reiner starts to cry again. Bertholdt looks down at him, slightly panicked, and completely clueless as to what he should do or say next.

“I'm … sorry.” Reiner manages to say between two sobs. “I'm tired …. it's been a hard day ...”

Bertholdt sits down next to his friend and pats him awkwardly on the shoulder. He's seen his dad do that to his mum once or twice and for some reason, it's the only thing he can think about at the moment. He's aware that it's surely as lame as asking 'A _re you ok_ ', but the pressure he feels now to act as naturally as possible prevents him from thinking of anything else. Because this situation is far from being natural and he's not equipped to deal with it.

“It's ok,” he says finally. “You did well today, I think the instructors were rather impressed.”

Reiner stops crying and looks at him bewildered.

“Are you kidding? I'm useless, Bertholdt. I suck at everything.”

Bertholdt tilts his head a little to have a better look at his friend. He knows about Reiner's insecurities, he knows he's very self-conscious about his own limits but he cannot allow him to think that he's useless.

“That's not true. You're brilliant, and not in a clever kind of way. Not that you're stupid. You're not.”

Bertholdt stops talking for a minute, the time for him to put his thoughts back into the right track. Reiner is staring at him, mouth half open. That's why Bertholdt doesn't like to talk – he sucks at expressing himself. He has all these feelings inside him and he struggles very hard to put words on them. It's like the ones he chooses always lack something - this little extra thing that could convey how he truly feels. It's frustrating.

“What I mean is, you have this light in you, Reiner. And maybe not everyone sees it but I do. It's bright and it's new and that makes you the most remarkable of us. And I would follow this light anywhere because I trust you. And maybe I'm good at shooting and aiming and I'm super precise or whatever. Big deal! I'll never be like you and I must admit that I'm a bit jealous.”

Bertholdt blushes and looks away. He hasn't meant to sound so vehement about the whole thing and now Reiner will probably think he's pulling his leg because who says things like that. Really? He should have just shut up, that usually serves him well.

“That's easy for you to say.” Reiner finally answers. He doesn't sound mad or offended, just slightly sad. “Everybody knows that you'll get a titan, probably the colossal. But this light you're talking about, you're the only one who sees it. And even if you're not, I don't think it's the kind of thing that makes a difference. When they choose who becomes a warrior, it'll be down to results and achievements.”

Yes. Reiner is right about that. The way things are going, Reiner probably won't get a titan. Maybe in thirteen years, if he's lucky. Even Bertholdt is aware of that and it breaks his heart a little to think that he won't be with his friend anymore. But he doesn't think that it's relevant. Reiner will do great things for Marley with the power of the titan or not. He's convinced of it.

Bertholdt jumps when his friend puts his head on his shoulder. He's not used to having physical contact with anyone else but his mother and is a bit startled. But Reiner doesn't seem to notice that he has tensed up because he doesn't move and even sighs longly.

“Thanks for cheering me up anyway. You always say nice things to me and I never do anything to return the favour.”

Bertholdt doesn't have the feeling he's cheered up anyone and the words make him even more uncomfortable than he was. He doesn't want anyone to return any favour. It would be too embarrassing for him to bear because it would mean a lot of attention on him and that's definitely too much. He feels a wave of panic being born in his stomach and raises his hand in a protective manner. Reiner sits up to look at him, a little surprised by his reaction.

“You don't need to, really. It's fine!”

His face is contorted by fear and Reiner puts his hand on his knee, in a way he hopes to be friendly and reassuring.

“Ok, Bertl. I won't.”

Bertl? No one ever called him that way and the diminutive sounds weird in his friend's mouth. Weird but not ugly. He might actually like it, in fact. He smiles. No one has ever been so intimate with him – touching him and giving him nicknames – and if he has never craved it before, it does feel undeniably good. He feels a bit stupid for over-reacting before and regrets not having Reiner's head close to his anymore.

“Sorry, I just don't like being at the centre of the attention.”

“I know that!” Reiner looks mildly offended. “I meant something small. You know, between the two of us.”

Ah. He would still be embarrassed to receive any favour, even in private, but the thought is appealing nonetheless.

“When is your birthday?”

“December 30th.”

“Ok. Then I'll make sure to get you something. Just to thank you for having my back all the time and putting up with all my drama. And you know, just to be my friend.”

Bertholdt blushes. He even feels a little tingling sensation at the corner of his eyes and prays very hard not to start to cry because that would be dramatic, for sure. He cannot help the smile that eats away half of his face though and it is soon reflected on Reiner's face. They are friends. That's the best favour Reiner could have done him. They both get up and share a hug to seal their pact.

Reiner insists to walk Bertholdt back home. It's a bit embarrassing but when his friend kisses him goodbye on the cheek, Bertholdt beams. He watches him walk away, longing for the next day to arrive to see him again, before going inside. When he goes to bed that night, Bertholdt is still smiling.


End file.
